Larry the Cable Guy, Vin Diesel and Steven Seagal: Lawman

Pat Barry: When he entered the cage at UFC 104, "Get Hype" knew he was guaranteed a $7000 payday.  (I don't think that's enough to agree to get wailed on, but that's just me.)  Anyway, he was facing his friend, Antoni Hardonk, but he was also fighting to prove a point to his former trainer, Eduardo Hoost, who no longer believes in him.  Pat creamed Antoni, laying him out with a second round KO. He earned a $7000 win bonus and he got to stick it to his former hero coach who treated him like dirt. Then the powers that be decided that KO was the best of the night- so he got an additional bonus of  $60,000.  But wait, there's more!  The same sage advisers decided that his scrap was also the Fight Of The Night.  So he got ANOTHER $60,000. $7000 turned into $134,000 in a matter of minutes. That's just awesome.

U2: I haven't seen them in ages, but their show at the Rose Bowl this past Sunday night was fantastic.  Yes, they are Professional Rock Stars, but that only means that they know how to deliver.  Great songs.  Amazing stage (it takes more than 300 people to set it up). One hell of a fun night.  Although, I would like to pummel the guy who set the prices for the t-shirts...

Paranormal Activity: This is the worst P.O.S. movie I have EVER SEEN! What a waste of my time and money. DO NOT believe the hype. This movie absolutely sucks. I fought to stay awake, since the repeated shots of the two "actors" in bed kept making me want to close my eyes, but I should have thrown in the towel and given up. You'll keep waiting for something exciting to happen, but the best you’ll get is a couple of screams and some banging sounds. Oooohh. Creepy. This makes M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" look like high art, and all that movie had was spooky wind. Hell, "The Blair Witch Project" is now Oscar-caliber in my book. What a bunch of B.S.

Gegard Mousasi: I'm not the first to predict that this 24 year-old will be a superstar in a couple of years, but I absolutely agree. He's crazy talented, with the ability to finish via submission or a big KO. Babalu is always a tough opponent and Gegard just smashed him. The only down side to his fight was the paltry purse of $2000. (What? What???) Look out 205ers: there's a new champ in town and it looks like he might stay a while. Oh yeah-don't be surprised if your girl runs off with this guy while he's here, too.

Fabricio Werdum & Cris "Cyborg" Santos: There are so many ridiculously fierce Brazilians in the game these days, and I'd like to thank these two for being so sweet to me as I busted out my newly acquired Portuguese skills in San Jose. I've got a long way to go, but with cool peeps like these two, I'm inspired to keep learning. Plus, it looks like they may keep on winning; so more conversations are sure to come. Obrigada! E parabéns em suas vitórias!

Brock Lesnar: It's not about the post-fight meltdown, because I think we all kind of expect that from a former WWE guy. And I'm not even really sure the rant was bad for the sport. No, this super-sized behemoth needs to be pummeled just to prove he CAN be pummeled. Somebody, anybody, PLEASE beat this guy up so we can find out if he's some sort of Terminator, or if he's human. Mir's leg lock victory was cool, but I think we need to see some blood, something broken and a big KO to know for sure if this guy isn’t related to a T-800. Actually, now that I think of it, he's a T-800 crossed with Goro from Mortal Kombat....

People Who Call The Carano/Cyborg Fight"Beauty And The Beast":

This is just not cool. It's Fighter vs. Fighter. Period.

Diego Sanchez: He's a polarizing figure in MMA, and the general consensus on this guy is that he's crazy. I don’t know him, so I can't comment on that: but, I do know that he clearly won the fight against a guy lots of us really, really like, Clay Guida. Hands down, that was the most ridiculously action-packed first minute of a fight I have seen in quite some time. How Clay soldiered on is beyond belief.  Congrats to Diego for a big win. Heart. Endurance. Aggression. Technique. That fight had it all.

Five-Minute Rounds For Ladies: The second Strikeforce Challengers show gave me six more minutes of pleasure, because for the first time, the usual three-minute rounds for women were stretched to five.  How great was that to have more fight time?  After fifteen minutes Kaufman was given a unanimous decision over Baszler. It was a good fight and it meant great things for the future of women in the sport.

Trevor Prangley: Taking the belt away from MFC champ Emanuel Newton was tough; lots of back-and-forth pounding for five long rounds. But what inspired me more than Trevor's ability to suck it up, was his humility in the post-fight interview. I remember thinking that he didn't look that psyched about the win, and then he proceeded to say that the scores should have been closer and that he didn't think his win was as impressive as he had wanted it to be. Even after all the pounding he appears to have a good head on his shoulders. And how about that Rocky II ending? That was fantastic.

Sarah Kaufman and Miesha Tate: These ladies put on a great show during the inaugural Strikeforce Challengers show with solid groundwork and some brutal stand-up. And, once again, the case was made for five-minute rounds in the female division. It was frustrating to have the action stop after only three minutes, since both fighters appear to have been able to go longer than the total nine (Sarah for sure). No doubt about it- I'll be keeping my eyes on these two.

Michael Bisping: Dude, get an alarm clock.

American Idol Voters: I was a Danny Gokey fan, so now I don't care who wins. As long as it's not Adam. Which leaves Kris, who is just OK. I get that Adam has stage presence etc., and that's cool. I just don't like the sound of his voice! Yes, he can sing, but I don't want to hear him do it. You know why Bono sang "One?" So Adam doesn't have to.

Manny Pacquiao: I like Ricky Hatton a lot, but Manny's unstoppable these days. He just seems to keep getting better, and he doesn't seem to spend the off-season in the pub throwing down fish-n-chips and pints of ale. I thought a KO would come, but not that fast. And what a first round! Don’t be a hater- watch boxing, too. When it's this good it's a blast. 

Ken Hershman + Dana White: As much as I like Roy Jones, Jr., I do not want to see him in the cage.  These guys appear to agree with me.  Can boxers learn to fight MMA? Some can. Can MMA fighters win a straight boxing match? Some can. Next question please?

Burger King's "Square Butts" ad: I'm not going to get into the socio-political harangue decrying the ad for it's promotion of sexuality to young kids. Rather, I hate this ad because it absolutely cracks me up, and I feel a little dirty about that.  I actually back the TiVo up to watch this nightmare commercial. Repeatedly.  Perhaps I should pummel myself....

Scott Smith and Benji Radach: These two beatdown artists are two of the absolute nicest guys in the biz, and WOW do they know how to fight. I wish every card had match-ups like this one. Especially after watching the less-than stellar UFC 97. Get well soon, Benji. We need you!

Chuck Liddell: What can you say about a fighter who is synonymous with MMA? A lot, obviously. And a lot will be said as he ponders retirement. The impact he’s made on the sport, not to mention on countless opponents' heads, ribs and knees is remarkable. He's the man.

I Love You, Man: I finally got to see this movie the other night- I’ve been wanting to since I first saw the clip of Lou Ferrigno choking out Jason Segel on YouTube months and months ago. I thought it was great. Funny and awkward as hell. Paul Rudd is quickly becoming one of my favorites. I loved him in The 40 Year-Old Virgin and he’s been getting better ever since.

UFC 97 Main Event: I wanted so much more for my money, like everyone did. I just kept screaming "finish him!!!" But, I get where Anderson is coming from, and I wasn't expecting him to engage on the ground. He didn't really do anything wrong per se, but he could have pressed the action. Those side kicks to the knee were BRUTAL though. I could hardly stand after watching, so I don't know how the hell Leites walked out of the cage. Although I did have a couple cocktails....

Guys Who Can’t Make Weight: Why do you show up for The Ultimate Fighter too fat to fight? What the hell? You say, "it’s the opportunity of a lifetime" and then you can't even make weight?? Duh. So Lame. That being said, a couple of episodes in, this season looks like it might be fun. I used to like Bisbing until he gloated about the win he stole from Matt Hamill. Now I hope Hendo and the boys kick his butt.

Carlos Condit and Martin Kampmann: Their April Fool's Day fight was no joke- these guys threw down for three tough rounds. While it wasn't the Most Amazing fight I've ever seen, it did feature all four of my favorite elements: they showed Heart, serious Endurance (especially Kampmann who could have been toast after going for those choke holds early on), Condit had Aggression to spare with his elbows and knees and they both rocked serious Technique on their reversals and escapes. In other words, they brought the H.E.A.T.! Nice work guys.

U2's new album No Line On The Horizon: I have loved U2 forever, but I wasn't 100% sold on the first single, "Get On Your Boots." It's still not my favorite, but the album has been growing on me like that nasty staph infection did on the guys of The Ultimate Fighter 4. It's definitely not the anthemic and politically pissed off band of old, but I found enough to hum along to, justifying the price of the CD. (I'm old school.) Especially "Magnificent."

Sex and the City- The Movie: Truth be told, I rarely watch chick flicks. Don't get me wrong- I can be pretty girly when (and where) it's important, but I'm more excited about the return of Rescue Me than the return of cute spring sandals. Anyway, I convinced my husband to watch Sex and the City on cable the other night, and boy was that a disappointment. Some hot clothes-yes, but more bad writing and questionable acting. On HBO it was fun, but as a movie it was as enjoyable as a $10 beer at a fight: I got a little bit happy but I just felt cheated. But, if The Shield ever goes to the big screen, I'm so there.

Counter-programmers: For the love of all things holy, and especially for the love of MMA, can you PLEASE stop putting fights up against other fights on TV? People might have to choose between UFC 100 and an Affliction show on July 11th? That sucks. It's obvious why it happens, but it feels like a fifth-grade playground spat. Cut it out and take a lesson from the WEC: put your show on another night, make it good and keep the fans happy.

Andrei Arlovski and Kimbo Slice: Word on the street is that you two wanna  box. Cool. Andrei, your standup looked good against Fedor, so it seems like you've been listening to the brilliant Freddy Roach. I just hope you get a serious opponent on the 11th and not a tune-up chump. Kimbo, please take it seriously. After three years ringside with Showtime Championship Boxing I can tell you that the sweet science is light years beyond "one dimensional." Good luck guys- keep pushing yourselves. And good luck getting the fangs approved by the boxing commission, Andrei!

Eminem: His new song "Crack A Bottle" is sooooo G.D. catchy that I haven’t stopped singing it in my head for the last week and a half. I love it, but I hate that I love it so much. Thanks, Marshall. You did it again.

Last House On The Left: I admit that I'm biased. My good friend Garret Dillahunt plays the lead bad guy, but even if he weren't in it, I'd tell you that this movie is pretty intense. It's not a horror movie; I'd call it an action thriller. Yes, like the critics say it's ridiculously violent-perhaps more than it needs to be at times- but if there are no good fights on and you're looking to blow off some steam, check it out.  And be sure to watch for Garret's superman elbow. He did his own fight scenes and kicks some serious butt!

Eastbound & Down: Danny McBride is freaking hilarious in this show! I don't know if he's got a lot of range as an actor (he's kinda similar in Heartbreak Kid and Tropic Thunder) but I don't even care. I crack up every week and I can barely get past the mullet. Fantastic.

Nick Diaz: (A slap on the wrist, not a full-on pummeling) I really enjoy watching him fight, and I'm glad he beat Thomas Denny (in my mind avenging my friend Malaipet's DQ loss), but I think Nick could have at least shaken hands with Frank at the press conference- It's a nice photo op. Plus, I didn't completely buy the tough-guy face. With that being said, I'm totally psyched about that fight! It’s gonna be a hot one.

Ken Shamrock: You need 'roids to beat Ross Clifton? Really? So sad.

10,000 BC: One of the most awful movies I have seen in quite some time. It was on cable, it was late and I might have been a little bit tipsy- but even under those circumstances I had the clarity to say out loud, "Wow, this movie is atrocious!" Do they really think people were that evolved in their thinking and conversation skills back then? I swear I saw a caveman invoke irony at some point. It was just awful. I only wish Mystery Science Theater 3000 could get their hands on it. Then it would be worth watching.